A day dream lived. Site Meter

function EntryPage::print_entry(Entry e) { }

Log in

No account? Create an account
A day dream lived. [String|Data|Nodes|Dossier]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

[Links:| Matthew Kowalski Author Page My Zazzle Printed Books Luminosity Pinterest Luminosity Author Profile Good Reads ]

Life on the sideways [Sep. 21st, 2018|11:10 am]
Asocial or A gypsy Life on the sideways.
Groucho marx or Karly Life on the sideways.
Franklin federalism or new uncommon forms.

Mothers and Crones poetic unknowns of lessons of life and love.
Black hazen days crowded with turbulent pareidola.
Wild multi sensory colors passing through visions and experience  of nonneurotypical brains.

The nonneurotypical a gift to the sideways, and the life well lived a gift of action and choice.
Adventure and freedom.


Take to the sea of stars and cosmos of idea.
A wild middle way on and over all edges, some sensical nonsense.

A Life on the Sideways.

linkpost comment

Simulation design notes [Sep. 10th, 2018|11:44 am]
Persistance without complete memory in agents.

Intention matters.
Intention augements the superfractional.

It never happens exactly the same way twice. It may be percievably the same but the discrete numeral or formal is never in precise measure the same.

A sense of humor because the same thing that makes you laugh makes you cry.

More to think about and formalize.
linkpost comment

Intra Locution A Cyberia Advent Film :: Chapter 10 :: Tongue Tied Agents :: The End [Sep. 7th, 2018|01:11 am]
So this interesting experiment has its first ending, now and I am happy enough with it's perfectly imperfect state.

Glitch on forever and may we play in this life into eternity.
Though I will work on a final cut and watch the whole film from beginning to end from the executable created by the compiler.


Chapter 10 The End

linkpost comment

Intralocution A Cyberia Advent Final Chapter Movie Update [Aug. 21st, 2018|12:23 am]
Maybe another day of work for the last chapter...
When the day is done whenever I can fit it into life...
Then the checks of each chapter, tweaks...
A Watch through...

Final Cut...
Final Recording...

linkpost comment

A Sheet of Cardboard my Blanket a Stoop my Home. [Aug. 18th, 2018|04:43 pm]
I am an unseen people, who are reviled for being.
My existence a product of structures.
You would imprison me for more than the expense to raise me up.
You would punish me for my needs.
You feel that I might exist so that you might suffer less.
The scapegoating does not release your bondage or heal your wounds.
Sleeping with a thin sheet of cardboard above me and a concrete stoop below.
Trying to sleep in this constantly hard place.
My being is perpetually harmed through an unchosen civilizations psychopathy.

How I came to this ponderous position was a folly of causes.
Knowing not how as the very earth shift below my feet and my mind muddles.
Existing knowing that you too may be on a precipice designed to make you lose your footing.

In mind, with a consciousness to this painful reality, but with interrelational care and a great deal of dignity and policy this does not have to be true, except for with the exception of natures vast unexpected force, and even with the shifts within the connected world will leave us more resilient.

If there is a soft place to rest maybe I will find it, and the earth as a bed is comforting while warm, and deadly in frost both beautiful. My ceiling-sky is abundant and profound it teaches me every day about the illusions of lack and limitation.

So I will imagine and carry on for maybe there will be brighter days ahead, and if only pain and misery, I will still have the testimony of the will to survive.

linkpost comment

Striding towards the storm. [Jul. 14th, 2018|11:16 am]
The bitter storm rages before me, now the light and sky change from a clear blue to twisted toroids of dark and bitter color.
Fretting not these storms have pained me before, they have quieted future pain their scars have calloused my soul. Moving towards and not away from the tempest there is no where to run we are all on deaths ground.
There is no past to speak of only the planned and unknown future. A boot raises and steps forward past the last boot. The rain of the storm is now gently dancing as the storm screams forward, the sky is full of foreboding nights lightning. 
There is only forward into the hard rains and hail, there is nowhere no cover so forward we move into the pain. 
The crepuscular luminance cracking and twinkling in between deafening claps.
These dancing rays of light are the beauty and joy in this skies sea.
The rain flows angularly tearing away flecks of skin.
Blood mixes with the rain.
This march is my solidarity against the pain behind me and in front of me.
Marching into the pain unwillingly and yet still striding.
Moving into very death even as it was carried and nurtured in my bosom.
My very belly button grey and singing of the other worlds.
Born in between worlds and time.
We need no relief for we are free with mind alone even as the slavers have broken our bodies.
The pain moving through and around.
The suffering the same, and though we suffer we still march.
Each footstep forward our great rebellion.

linkpost comment

An aspect of the saturnine nauseation [Jul. 12th, 2018|10:33 pm]
Horror like love can only be eluded to. You can never describe it directly you know it when you feel it and like so many emotions states that heighten and this emotion can kill you. You can be so terrified that your heart breaks stress cardiomyopathy.

This does not even speak to horror though honestly to describe it os to disgust.

It's not a range of emotions that you want to play through your flesh. These feelings change you.

What takes an instance can take a good deal of time to get to stop being a harassing thought. With love consideration care time and tools you can notch away against the active or banal.
linkpost comment

Love asks of you the impossible and you will rise to it. [Jul. 5th, 2018|10:10 pm]
Love is a world.
It is so varied in its manifestations.

Love may ask you to become from nothing. It may ask you to peacefully enter into hell and madness.

You may enter resigned.
Love may ask you to be without parents. Love may ask of you to suffer greatly. Love may ask you to lose.

My first answer was yes as many others have been.
Life may ask you to betray yourself in your first lie. The lie that kept your mother in your life.

You may ask love to see you and it may be blind to you. You may not be ready even when you feel like you can suffer no more.

Love can break and build you simultaneously. When the fire of love burns you away you can be free.

You cannot hold onto love tightly it does not live that way. Love will ask you for your friendship thoughts and consideration.

Love may come to you in creation. Love may come to you when you are broken in your black room and love may fill your brokeness with gold.

You may still be broken you may still be twisted. What will you decide will you decide to give into the night and take your last breath or will you struggle to heal.

Love may ask you to be forever and you are, your forever may be incompatible or unknown.

Love will tell you as a matter of fact that you will wish you spent more time with the people that have loved you most and that you have loved and it will be correct.

Love will heal your friends. Love will solve impossible problems.

Love will ask you to love other beings more than yourself and it will still ask you to love you.

Love will ask you for things you should have done if you could. It may scar you with regrets. It may fill you in with light.

Love will ask you to do impossible things and you will rise to them.

One day as love asked you to live. Love will ask you to die. It will ask you to make space for the seeds you have planted and to nourish them with yourself the love and light that you will become. Love will ask from you impossible things and you will rise to them

linkpost comment

Tormentum Produx Volneris Retinopathy [Jul. 1st, 2018|07:57 pm]
This pain has blinded me so.
It blinded me from the we's and gave me I's.
Though the I's are malformed, and my heart still sings we.

The words have been twisted by jackalese even though that is not my heart.
My hearts says I love you but my words run flat.

No worries though, I have been healing the imposed ivvaron, and it is to the benefit of others and myself.
The world is kinder and gentler when the poison bleeds out.

For all the pain has blinded me hurt me and bound me.
It has also developed me and challenged me, it has given me paths and I have chosen some adventure.

In the choosing choices of kindness and nowness are made.
Choosing healing instead of harm.
Choosing to not give up instead of death.

Each of these choices the real measure of my life.
The measure of life in kindness and love.
May the measures of compassion and love be great.
May the I's become inclusive we's, may we all grow in this great adventure.

linkpost comment

Intralocution A Cyberia Advent Movie Update Chapter 2 [Jun. 26th, 2018|12:32 am]
The second  part of the movie is almost solved. Now I can rerecord the first part and then the second part and upload it after a few more watch throughs and algorithmic tweaks. :)

linkpost comment

[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]